Staying Focused
In order to reach one's objective in life,
one must remain focused, keep your eye on the gold.
I know people out there (the real world} haven't given it much thought,
but I can assure you, I have. I have constant reminders all around
me, showing me how not to get my Olympic Gold Metal.
You see, I call regaining my freedom, my wife and three children back
my "Olympic Gold Metal". What each man here (San Quentin's Death Row} or
out there must ask himself are two questions: #l - what is it I want in
life? and #2 - what will the cost be to get it?
Now I'm sure every man here wants to win his appeal and go home to be
with his family again, yet to see how they act in here, one would have
to wonder, (I know they have me wondering it about them).
You see, I see my freedom and my family as my goal in life, and there's
"absolutely nothing" I will not do to achieve this goal, NOTHING!
Now I know (from speaking with others in here) they too say this is
their goal, yet, let's analyze now they go about achieving their goal.
We all know winning "The Olympic Gold Metal" means a lot of hard work.
Each winner that I've heard interviewed has stated that while all their
friends were watching T.V., .playing outside, partying and dating (having
fun) I they were at the gym practicing their art to become the best at it,
they never stopped thinking it their whole life was about winning "The Olympic
Gold". Now let's compare that "action" to the actions of the average
Death Row inmate (whom I call "brain dead inmates").
These so called "killers" want you to believe they want back out on
the streets, yet I rarely ever hear one speak about "I can't wait to be
back home with my wife and children." Why do I so rarely hear this??
No, instead all I ever hear come out of their mouth is SPORTS, SPORTS,
SPORTS and more sports ..... quarterly package, quarterly package, quarterly
package.... C.D., C.D., C.D., music or bad mouthing the "Bush administration
and this countries past. That's all I ever hear in here, they sound
so pathetic, that I doubt they ever hear themselves saying it.
My observations of the "brain dead inmates" is they only have one thing
on their minds .ME, ME, ME, and ME. Then there's "yard time" (exercise
yard), when they can run outside and play basketball, play card games,
dominoes or some board game. It's all about playtime. You see, they know
who and what they are, so it's very important to them to attach themselves
to others like themselves. This means becoming a "fan" of some sports team,"
having the BEST C.D. player and music collection, going to the store monthly,
getting food packages every quarter (90 days), and dressing in the best
athletic clothes. Why, if you have more than the next guy, you are a "SOMEBODY",
you have people who still love you, you can feel good about yourself.
I have come to believe that the Death Row inmates at San Quentin State
prison have been psychologically beaten down. They have given up hope for
their freedom.
They've seen how corrupt this legal justice; (injustice) system they're
more happy to leave their appeals (life) in the hands of
an appellate lawyer (Who has little or no faith in winning their cases),
I though they (inmates) have washed their hands of it all. They see it as
"out of control", so why bother with it? ,first the state appointed lawyer
deal with it......... which is a BIG MISTAKE!
BIG MISTAKE!, and here's why. Nobody will fight for your
life more so than you will (or should), and once these appointed lawyers
see that you've backed away from the fight, they will not fight as hard for
you.
MY PROOF: We (on the row) and they (the courts and the
lawyers) all know how the system works, so why haven't we fixed it??? Why
do we allow some- guilty inmates to steal away valuable resources and needed
(very much so) lawyers to defend them??? Why do we do that??? When a man
(or woman) is "caught in the act".. (doing the crime), why does that person
get a trial? Why does this person get an appeal? Why can't he/she
just be sentenced and if he's on Death Row... then executed??? Well, the reality
is that there are sometimes unique circumstances to cases, then over the
past ten (10) years it has been brought to the public's attention that there's
many that were WRONGLY, FALSELY and ILLEGALLY CONVICTED by
the system. A recent documentary aired on PBS channels ""BURDEN of
INNOCENCE" is just one of many documentaries that reflect this reality.
Not to mention the the racism found in the courts.
COMMON SENSE: If we only allowed trials to be given
to "suspects" (people who still have a question about their guilt), look
at all the money we would save the tax payers. Look at how many less
cases lawyers would have to defend. Giving them more money to spend
on our defenses, and more time to work on our justly receiving our freedom
(which would prevent a lot of these "wrongful convictions" in the first place!.
APPEALS: As for appeals of the Death Penalty, if we only
allowed appeals for those whom were convicted by a jury that was "NOT
OF THEIR PEERS" and/or that used only "circumstantial evidence"
or "perjured testimonies" , there would be many less cases
for the appeals courts to review. There would be much less work for the appellate
lawyers to do. Our appeals process wouldn't take 17-20 years, and we'd
resolve the "problem" in half of that time. For those that are innocent
or that had been wrongly convicted (one way or the other) this would be
GREAT NEWS for you, but on the other hand, if you're guilty
or can't prove your innocence your life ends much sooner.
You may be asking yourself, "so why haven't Death Row prisoners INSISTED
on this change in the judicial system?" If you're innocent; wouldn't
you want "OUT" as soon as possible? Why then do they
worry about yard time, quarterly packages, sports, music C.D.'s, tennis shoes,
etc. etc. far more than getting something done about this so called
"legal system"???
SOLUTIONS: If you really valued your freedom and your
family, then you might start acting like you do and start attacking the problem
head-on, with all of the recent exposures of wrongfully convicted, and some
assistance from a few "COMPETENT" attorneys, representatives
and senators, I'm confident that the public would be behind you. Although
not freed yet, LOOK at Mumia Abu-Jamal. Now what
are you going to DO?........ How focused are YOU???
Then there's this, let's say that all or some of the brain dead inmates
decided to come together and focus on the problem "As One" well, this just
wouldn't happen either Why? Because the administration would
break us up. Even if they were to just see everyone on the yard encircled
and talking to each other. It wouldn't matter WHAT we
were talking about, just SEEING everyone talking about
something (the weather) would cause a panic in the administration,
which would result in a short lock-down for "interviews"... and these always
cause "suspicions" among prisons, as to who may be "inventing subjects" to
talk about......... The administration fears any UNITY among
prisoners.
UNITY: You see, just like everything else in life, unity
is a sign of strength and strength is something the administration doesn't
want to see in prisoners. The bottom line is that as long as they can keep
us DIVIDED and/or "at each other", combined with the prisoner's
egos, petty jealousies and those that don't have anything better to do than
to try getting into anybody else's business........... then they CAN
keep control and manipulate.
What I don't understand is..... if we are as smart as we'd like others
to believe we are, then why haven't we found a way to come together and solve
or resolve all our problems?? Well, I guess we're not as bright as
we think we are, which is a shame. because the ANSWER is
right there for all of us to see.
THE QUESTION: The question now is... are we going to get
"SERIOUS" about regaining our freedom and being with our loved
ones? Or will we remain here and "try" to find a way to change how
the legal system runs us through the appeals process? (I understand why
the guilty fear the change, I just don't understand why the innocent
(other than there being so few) don't insist on it? And lawyers don't
seem to want it??? (other than the paychecks).
Copyright 2003
A .A. White
San Quentin, Death Row
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