A Mother's Plea for Help

Help me find justice for my son and my granddaughter.

Our petition

http://www.petitiononline.com/Alexa02/petition.html

 

To Whom It May Concern:

I am Dwight Davidson's mother and Alexa' Nicole Davidson's grandmother. I am writing to you now to let you know that I will continue to help extend family support to my son , which includes residing with me if the board feels it is necessary instead of living at his own residence with his fiance' Angie Holden. I would also like to share with you the pain I have suffered through this last year in a half or so.


My worst nightmare began on January 21, 2001. At 5:35am in the morning my granddaughter's other grandmother contacted me and stated that Alexa' had to be taken to the hospital for stomach problems. She claimed that she was on her way to Clarksville now and that she would keep me informed. The phone call did not alarm me because she did not inform me that Alexa' stopped breathing and was taken to the hospital by ambulance.

While I was at work I received a heart breaking phone call from my 19 year old son at approximately 4:00pm. He could barely speak and he was frantic. I could hardly understand him, partly because I did not want to believe what he was saying and because Nicole's mother told me Alexa' was only having stomach problems. My only first blood granddaughter was "brain dead". When I was finally able to comprehend what my son was saying I just told him I would be there over and over before hanging up. My whole world began to fall apart. My co-workers rushed in to assist me by contacting my husband to inform him of the situation and he came for me. We immediately headed to Nashville, Tennessee. I prayed for a miracle the whole way there.

When my husband and I arrived at Vanderbilt Hospital we rushed to her side. She just looked as if she was sleeping. After spending a few minutes with Alexa' a nurse, who we thought was a head nurse of some kind, was upset because the other medical staff had let us in. My husband asked what the prognosis was and she said it was not good. She then commented, "I am sure you have your suspicions." We were astonished by her accusation. I wanted to find my son so we could get a better understanding of what had happened to my granddaughter.

We came out of Alexa's room and proceeded down the hallway. Within minutes Dwight rushed into my arms uncontrollably crying. He just kept saying, "they think I did this." I was trying to calm him down so I could get a better understanding of what he was trying to tell us. I asked him, "Did what?" He answered, "Hurt Alexa'!" I was beside myself I did not understand how they could already assume that my son had done something to hurt his daughter. As I tried to console my son I saw pain in his eyes that I had never seen there before and he just said, "I wish it was me in there instead of my baby girl."

During the time my husband and I stayed with Dwight and Nicole at the hospital we tried our best to get a better understanding of the circumstances surrounding Alexa's injuries. Nicole's mother was at the hospital as well. Nicole's mother kept telling them both to just act like you have money and you won't get in trouble. I never understood why she would make such an odd statement when all we were worried about was what had happened to Alexa'. One particular time I went with Nicole to see Alexa', we were able to spend a few brief moments with her in the hallway before she went for some testing. After the nurse took her Nicole said the most disturbing thing, "There's nothing wrong with my daughter I don't know why there is something wrong with this daughter." Her apparent detachment from Alexa' seemed strange from the day Alexa' was born, but my son loved her and I refused to interfere with their relationship. I figured she could of had the "baby blues". As we stood outside so we could get some fresh air Nicole asked my son if he thought this could have happened to Alexa' when she bumped her head against the faucet. My son just said he didn't think so, but we all knew there wasn't anyway Alexa's injuries came from a bump on the top of her head. At around twelve midnight we were no longer allowed to stay in the hospital so my husband and I stayed in a motel.

The next day, January 22, 2001, we went back to Vanderbilt Hospital. The news was bad. There would be no miracle. They were planning to disconnect Alexa' from life support. Detective Kellett was there and they stated they wanted to speak to Dwight. I can still feel the pain and fear that filled my eyes as I saw my son stand respectfully at parade rest as he asked the Detective if he could wait on his step-dad. The Detective said no we have to talk now. I asked if I could come in and he just said "no". I ran as quickly as I could down two flights of stairs to get my husband. We hurried back up the stairs and my son was standing at what looked to me like parade rest again. As I got closer I realized they had handcuffs on my son. I requested that he please allow him to see his daughter one last time before they took her off of life support and he refused. I asked if I could hug him and again he refused. They began to walk my son to the elevator and I asked, "Where is he going?" The Detective Just turned away as if he did not hear me and the other Detective kindly stated, "Montgomery County Jail." I began to crumble, I was losing my granddaughter and my son in one day. I fell apart and my husband had to practically carry me from the hospital. Of course we rushed to Clarksville to see if we could get a further understanding of what was happening to my son.

I still to this day do not understand how they were able to arrest my son with no answers to so many questions and allow Alexa's mother to go home that night free to never become a suspect and assume the role as the other victim.

After we arrived in Clarksville we realized the only help for my son was to contact an attorney. So we focused on offering support to Nicole regarding Alexa's funeral/wake arrangements. When I spoke to her mother she said Nicole did not want anything to do with the arranging of the funeral. I asked her why and she just said, "Oh she doesn't know what she wants she's been like that since she was little." So Randy, my sister April (Who had come for Memphis), and myself went to a funeral home ran by a man names Mr. Tarpley. After we explained the circumstances he offered to give our granddaughter a proper funeral/wake for absolutely no charge. I had to have her little body released from the medical examiner's office. I was very concerned about having an open casket because of the autopsy. Mr. Tarpley assured us that he could make Alexa' look as if one was never performed. We went out and bought something for her to wear so she could be dressed appropriately for her final day. All of the family was working hard to make it from Knoxville, which is three in a half hours away, so they could see her one last time. I spoke to Nicole just before the funeral and she insisted on knowing who was coming. I told her I was not sure. Some of the family was still on the road. I was concerned that they may not make it in time. I could not understand why she was being so nasty to me. We tried hard to offer as much help as we could. She continued demanding to know who would be there. She made it clear that certain people in the family were not allowed to attend. When I objected to her requests to ban certain family members she became even more vindictive. I told her who ever comes, comes and I hung up. Later Nicole called to inform us that no one was allowed to attend the funeral and that she would have police officers present if we tried to get in to see Alexa'. Once again I began to fall apart. How could she feel that it was necessary to keep us from seeing Alexa'. We did go to the funeral home to plead with Mr. Tarpley to help us. He greatly regretted that he could not help, but he offered to take some pictures of her for us. He also informed us that Nicole had Alexa' undressed and then redressed into something that she picked out and that she demanded that he remove our flowers. He said he put his foot down and told her that she already banned the entire family after they arranged the funeral, the flowers were staying. I could not believe that any of this was happening. We left the funeral home with a bag filled with the clothes we had bought for Alexa' and a whole in our hearts. We had no closure and our nightmare had only just begun.

What was happening? My son was in jail. My granddaughter was gone. Now Nicole was completely shunning the family from taking part in the final events of Alexa's life. I became an emotional wreck. I had no sleep and no food. I couldn't stop crying, vomiting, and had bouts of nonstop diarrhea. My husband had to contact our physician back home to get me some medication to help calm my nerves. My entire family was worried about how I was going to make it. The medication helped some but the pain and the worry were still there. When we started to head home I lost it all together. How was I going to leave my granddaughter and my son? On the way home we had to pull over a lot so I could vomit. The entire way home and with each mile the pain in my heart became even more unbearable.

I didn't know where to begin. I wanted to sit and cry because I would never hold my granddaughter again. I wanted to stand up and fight for my son's freedom. I had a terrible since of tug of war in my heart. I had seen my son while still in Clarksville. The visitation that was arranged was through a glass window with a phone. I could see the pain in his eyes and all we could do was cry. The color had washed from his face and he had dark circles around his eyes. He was not eating or sleeping. He had uncontrollable nightmares. And as his mother I could see in his eyes that he had given up. He was in jail and his daughter was gone. He did not want to fight. Nothing could bring his daughter back.

Somehow through my own struggles I convinced my son to fight. I told him he had to do it for Alexa'.

We had contacted an attorney while still in Clarksville. After we told him of the circumstances and pleaded for his help he agreed to represent my son for $10,000. We could not possibly begin to think about trying to come up with the $50,000 to pay a bail bondsman to bring my son home. So I tried researching as much as I could regarding the last few days of my granddaughter's life. I had very little to go on. The inconsistent statements by Nicole were confusing. My son knew very little about the circumstances surrounding Alexa's final days. He knew she was not feeling well, he said Nicole told him the baby had colic. He did say she had been crying for a few days as if she had tummy pain and Nicole told him it was gas. She claimed that everything that was wrong with Alexa' was normal. He said he trusted her so he thought that this was how newborns with "colic" were their first months. He told me that he had never thought that Alexa' was in any danger. Every time I asked him to explain the last few moments before she stopped breathing he always said the same thing, "I picked her up and she started gurgling."

I saw my son with his daughter. He made me so proud. He was very gentle and always attentive to her cries for attention. When my son and Nicole came to visit, he was the one who got up with her in the middle of the night and stayed up with her through the day. I was so happy that he helped Nicole so much. He was so tender with his new true love. You could see the look of nothing but love and devotion when he stared at his daughter. He was truly in love with her. He was also in love with Nicole. He wanted to marry her and take care of her other daughter, as his own. The pain of losing the three most precious treasures in his life, Alexa', Nicole, and her other daughter, was overpowering for him. It was very hard to keep him focused on his case. We tried to get him to tell us everything that he knew about Nicole. He would not say one bad word about her. I tired to push him to give us something to go on so we could push the District Attorney to investigate her. He did not want to believe the woman he loved and trusted could have hurt their daughter. He always told me all I can do is tell the truth and pray.

I tried several times to push his attorney into requesting a bond reduction hearing. I wanted to bring my son home so we could focus on his trail together and so I could help with the pain that he had pushed so far down to keep hidden from the other inmates who tortured him with their comments. He told me while he was in jail you could not show emotion or he will never make it. It completely broke my heart when my son told me, "Don't worry mom I just cry with my face in my pillow when I am alone at night." He didn't have a real pillow he made it from two towels folded together. This was when he was pretty close to being in jail for 5 months. I continued to try to push to get a bond reduction hearing. People tried to discourage me. They all said you do not get a bond reduction hearing when someone is being charged with murder. I insisted that my son's case wasn't your normal murder case. The Detective had nothing but circumstantial evidence. He profiled my son and twisted his statement of, "I never intentionally or unintentionally hurt my daughter." This is what the papers called his confession. I knew that Detectives could twist words to get what they wanted. They have their own personal agenda. My son loved his daughter and I knew that no matter how hard they tried to find a fact that would pinpoint my son they would not discover one. So I pushed and I pushed. Finally they agreed to have a bond reduction hearing. Judge Jones was amazed that we were able to even get a bond reduction hearing. When he noticed how many family members attended he was taken aback by the family support. I do not remember his exact words but he said that he had never seen so much family support in a case where the accused is facing murder charges. Judge Jones did reduce my sons bond from $500,000 to $150,000 which astonished his attorney.

After the Judge reduced the bond we were again beside ourselves. We could not even begin to afford a $15,000 bond. With less than $1500 dollars in our hands and a hope for a miracle in our hearts all 25 or so of the family members and myself went searching for a bondsman who would help. We found a special bondsman by the name of Tommy Sallee JR. He agreed to work with us so that we could bring my son home. He said he was doing it for Dwight and his family. He agreed to take the money we had and let my son make payments on the rest. And my son did, he sent all but $50.00 a week from his pay check to Tommy. He also appeared and arrived for every hearing on time, from his bond release until his sentencing. He had the hardest time when we would arrive so we had to be sure and get there early. He always had to go to the bathroom and vomit.

Some would have thought my son's release was a time for celebration. The hardest part was far from over and I am not referring to the trail. Alexa's birthday was just around the corner. After my son returned home he had difficulty talking about jail, the trail, or his loss of Alexa'. We all would try to encourage him to just talk some and help us understand how he was feeling. He could not talk about Alexa' with out falling apart. He had spent so much time in jail trying to hide the pain he had become overloaded with grief and dis pare. Although I must say he had not changed from the same tender and loving person he had always been, he was just so much wiser. We were all concerned that he would become bitter and spiteful due to the pain and confusion of the whole situation. Even now the ways he has changed are so positive. My relationship with my son was already strong before this all began but after he returned home it was 10X's stronger. We shared a lot of the same pain. His failure to recognize signs that his daughter was in need of his protection and my complete inability to protect him from what had already happened and what was to come.

We have all suffered through this together. I know that my son is the one who has bared the most pain and loneliness. I drive up every Sunday from Knoxville so I can visit face to face with my son, close enough to touch but spatted by a window only big enough to see his face. It is also the only time that I can trade his books out. He reads at least three a week. The drive is difficult at times but to see my sons eyes light up when he I see him is well worth the 7 hours on the road. I know that we are all the only touch of reality that he has and it last sonly 30 minutes. If we all did not go and visit him he would not make it. He has frequent nightmares of hearing Alexa' cry and he can not get to her, he can not find her to save her. I have nightmares of running with my granddaughter trying to get away from what ever it is in my dream that threatens us. I have been to therapy to find a way to live until this is all over. There were times I did not eat or sleep for days. How could I begin to enjoy the luxuries of life when my son did not even have a "real" pillow or decent meal to satisfy his hunger. He has tried to keep my mind at ease. He would tell me he that sucks on hard candies to keep the hunger pains away. He would also tell me that he had it easier than me since he had no responsibilities in there. I am to smart for that. I know my son, he always puts everyone else first and he doesn't want me to worry. He has always said, "Momma if I know your okay, I'll be okay."

I know you must receive letters like this a million times a year. I am begging you now to have mercy on my son. He never would have hurt his daughter. He loved her. I am not taking away from the seriousness of my granddaughters death or that my son may have been able to save her. I live with that pain and agony each day. I am just asking you to review the information we are providing to you so that you can get a clearer picture of how the justice system has failed us, not necessarily because of my sons conviction, but because Nicole was never investigated. They convicted my son on their "theory" of what could have happened. There was no evidence to support the theory and other theories were not ruled out. If the state would have investigated Nicole and brought her to trial with my son the answers to what happened to my granddaughter may have been discovered. Nicole has had training in child abuse through a daycare center that she worked for. She was armed with the information she needed to make my son "look" guilty. I know that my son should and has taken part responsibility for Alexa's death, he has learned that you should wait to have a baby with someone you know and can trust. He will never again take the mother's word on his child's condition. He will be the one to take them to the doctor and be sure that the symptoms are not from something more serious than what he may be observing.

Our family, my son, and myself have never had a chance to grieve for over the loss of "our" precious baby. We have relived her tragic death over and over for the last year and a half. Just this past weekend I was finally able to go to Maryland to see her final resting place. I have never understood why Nicole had her taken out there so far from herself and our family. The cemetery told us they could not tell us where she was per the owners request. My son's finance' and I began to search all 50 acres when two kind workers pointed us to "baby land". We stepped over her several times because all she has marking her grave is the stake left by the funeral home. She still does not have a monument on her grave. My son's first priority when he is finally home is to have a monument put in for his daughter. We have to petition the courts to have it put in because Nicole will not allow it. According to the two gentlemen who tend to the lawns at the cemetery, the only time they remember seeing flowers on her grave was Christmas. This is very painful for us because if she was close by we would visit her as much as humanly possible.

The most difficult part of this whole situation is the fact that nothing could ever bring my granddaughter and my son's daughter back. Even if you choose to let my son come home he will forever be imprisoned by what he sees as his failure to save Alex'a life. He has told me, "Children are supposed to out live their parents, and I hate myself for it."


I want to thank you for your time. I appreciate your consideration in this matter.



My son's website

http://castleofhopeforlostsouls.org/theinjusticesystem/dwightdavidson.html

See my beautiful granddaughter and hear a shocking story every parent should know.

 

Sincerely,

Joy N. Thomas

My Email

joynell10@yahoo.com

 



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